Fear is a word that easily catches attention. This is because, at one time or the other we have experienced it. I was told this story of Mr Death visiting a small town. On his way he met Mr Y and Mr Y was curious to know why Death was visiting. I am here to take three of the villagers said Mr Death. Fair enough Mr Y thought, so he went his way. When Mr Y returned in the evening, he saw that more than half of the villagers were dead. He was furious, angrily searched for Mr Death and questioned him. Death, you said you came for just three persons, but more than half of the villagers are dead, why? Mr Death simply replied: Yes I took just three but every other person who died, died out of the fear of my presence. I did not kill them, the fear of Death did.
This sometimes is how we live our lives. We nurture different fears until they grow and become difficult to defeat. Have you ever been in a situation where you need to do something or communicate with someone who can be of help, but the fear of what the response might be holds you back and you end up not taking any action. I have been in such situation many time but recently, I learnt a concept that is working well for me and I would love to share it with you.
The concept is a simple and familiar question, which I hope will help you take bold and courageous steps as you journey through life. 'Do I have anything to lose and what do I have to gain', asking this question makes a big difference. It has helped me fight the fears often created through assumptions and presumptions. Here is an example: sometime ago, I contacted a professor in one of schools I am interested in and she responded almost immediately asking for my schedule, so she can plan a meeting. For some reasons, I did not respond until three days later and for more than a week I did not get any reply from her. I thought of sending a follow-up email, but the usual mind game- maybe she is no longer interested in meeting with you, maybe this, maybe that. I made all the assumptions possible. Suddenly, the simple but significant question came to mind. So I asked myself, what do I have to lose or gain by sending the follow-up email. Its either she reads it and ignore or she reads it and respond. But, if I refuse to take any action, I have deprived myself of the option of her reading it and responding. Eventually, I sent the email and she responded immediately, thanking me for the reminder, we scheduled a date and the meeting was fabulous.
This applies to different aspect of our lives. We are quick to discredit our ability to succeed and think more on the negatives. Stop and ask yourself 'Do I have anything to lose and what do I have to gain'. You may want to start a business and then the mind game- similar businesses have failed, I don't even have enough money, where will I get customers etc. These are good questions but when they are developed out of uncontrollable fear, they become set-backs. Are you interested in working for a particular organization and the thought of going to speak with someone in the organization occur to you and then the mind game- how can I just go there, I don't even know anyone, what if they embarrass me etc. Good questions as well, but what if they don't, what if they embrace you instead. Finally, it is ok to feel afraid, it can be a good motivator, but never let it have the best of you, always let your FAITH in God prevail!!!
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loves us (Romans 8:37)